Big Things Part 2 - My mom is usually right

DISCLAIMER: This post is to inform family and friends who had heard rumors about my "new job" about what's going on.  I don't particularly enjoy re-telling stories.  Those of you who are just happening across it, I hope what you take from the following is positive.

This morning I deleted the post I had been working on announcing my new job to family and friends: Public Affairs Specialist in the South Carolina National Guard.  It still stings to think about the choice I was faced with, but, to assure all of you now, I know it was the right one.

Two months ago to the day, I got a call from SFC Cashion, an incredible NCO-IC (Non Commissioned Officer In Charge, ie: the boss-man of the enlisted side) of the Public Affairs team at the South Carolina National Guard.  This guy had been fighting to get me on his team for months, and they had finally received word that one of their journalists was leaving, and I was the first name to mind as a replacement.  I went in two weeks later to meet his CO (Commanding Officer) for a final interview, where they officially offered me a job, put me in touch with a recruiter, and introduced me to my future co-workers.  Over the next three weeks, I filled out paperwork, met with recruiters, and started studying to prepare for Basic Training.  My enlistment date was set for Jan 30.

I notified my future command that I was in a relationship with an Active Duty Officer, a Captain stationed at Fort Gordon, as suggested by Matt. He had already reviewed the AR (Army Regulation) four or five times to confirm that it wouldn't be an issue, but it's always a good idea to keep your command informed, just in case.  The following Monday, Matt sat down with his own command to let them know I was enlisting.  That's when the first shoe dropped.

"It shouldn't be a problem, as long as the two of you don't contact one another while she's in training," they said.

We chalked it up to being an illegal relationship because Matt was going to be commanding Trainees (brand-new soldiers, still in initial training to become full-fledged soldiers), and decided that since my training would only be six months, vs a lifetime of opportunity opened up for me, it would be worth it (our chalk was uninformed).  But, just in case, I wanted Matt to check with JAG (military legal professionals) to be sure that it wouldn't have any long-term harm on his career if we were in contact at some point.  While he tried to pin down some straight answers, I moved forward with filling out paperwork and background checks.  Luckily, due to getting hit with a vicious cold virus, my enlistment date was pushed to Feb 1, a 24-hour period that may have saved us from a huge mistake.

On Jan 29th, Matt finally snagged a meeting with a JAG officer.  He called home directly following the meeting, and with a grave tone in his voice, informed me that our relationship would be deemed illegal anytime I was called to Active Duty.

For any other National Guard unit, this wouldn't be a big deal.  But for the PAO (Public Affairs Office), who are activated frequently (roughly 3-5 days every month, sometimes more) for missions both interstate, and abroad,  who were due for a nine-month deployment in January of 2014, who are activated for any natural disaster (like Irene, Katrina, tornadoes in Kansas, etc), or any national interest (half his team were deployed to New Mexico for a nine-month mission covering border control), it's a big deal.  Any and every time I was activated, we would be risking not only Matt's military career, but also his capacity to pursue a civilian career afterward due to putting him on the line for a dishonorable discharge (for an "inappropriate relationship between enlisted member and an officer"), and becoming unemployable.  We did everything we could to find a loophole.  My NCO consulted his JAG officers, Matt spoke with two more JAG officers on multiple occasions, I delved through dozens of legal briefs my recruiter e-mailed to me.  The regulation was black and white - our relationship would be deemed illegal for the whole of my eight years serving as an enlisted soldier with the National Guard.  It didn't matter that it was a pre-existing relationship; it didn't matter that we wouldn't be serving in the same units; the bottom line was that, not only did his command already know we were together, but his JAG office knew.  All it would take is one slip-up - one wrong Facebook post that the FRG (Family Readiness Group, made up of military wives) saw and questioned what I did for a living, one awkward moment at an event where someone asked Matt where I was if I was on a mission or deployed, and he hesitated how to answer, one devious or vindictive coworker reporting us - and my dream job would challenge Matt's entire career, everything he has worked so hard for.  It would challenge us, as a couple.

Sure, we had other options.  But they were limited - 1) Break up or 2) Turn down the job.  The Army was, for all intensive purposes, asking me to choose between the best thing that has ever happened to me, and my dream job. 

Courtesy of Mr. Vaughan, Matt and I at his Battle Buddy/ our best friend's Change of Command ceremony last November.

Well, breaking up wasn't even on the table.  For either one of us, we didn't even discuss it.  I had just moved in with Matt on Jan 12, we were (and are) infinitely happy together.  And I had always believed that if you were doing something you had to hide, than you shouldn't be doing it.  We didn't want to hide.  And with literally no precedence to refer to on how harsh the punishments could get if we got caught, risking Matt's career just wasn't worth it.

So a very difficult, very late night discussing our options, with (I'm a journalist, so I'll tell the real story how it happened) several tearful moments buried into Matt's chest, I called SFC Cashion at 9:30 AM on Jan 30th (my original enlistment date), and told him I could not accept his offer.

Headed out on the town on our first weekend away together, in Charleston, SC.  September 2012.

Matt and I have a back-up plan for my career, which we're currently working on pursuing.  Yes, we. (And to clarify, I'm not giving up on my dream, we're just finding another way to achieve it.) And no, I'm not ready to talk about it yet.  I'm tired of publishing my chickens before they hatch, so please respect that.  For the record, though, I've known since Day 1 that falling in love with a military man would require it's sacrifices.  This is one of them, and though I can't say I was happy to do it, I am happy that I can say with all confidence that Matt is just as invested in my professional success as I am in his.  We will get there, and we will do it together. And I find that I am ridiculously proud of him, what he does, and who he is, every single hour of every single day.  I do not, nor will I ever, regret this decision.

Perhaps right now you're criticizing me; perhaps you think me naive, or immature; perhaps you think I've made a mistake.  And that's fine.  You're allowed.  But, as my mom said in the midst of this whole mess: "Anyone who has seen you and Matt together would understand."  And my mom is usually right.

Source: imgfave.com via Maiysha on Pinterest

Big Things Part 1: Matt's Change of Command

I realize I've been silent for the past six weeks, and I apologize (mostly to myself) for it.  I won't go into all of the details just yet, but on top of the frustrations of getting kicked on my butt with a vicious cold virus, continuing to struggle with healing my feet, and frantically preparing for Matt's Change of Command, I got a job offer that also required an enormous amount of attention.  I was keeping it close to my chest during the process because this is a job I had been unofficially offered before.  I made a big to-do about it back then, and it ended up falling through.  This time, the offer was official, and literally two days before I was scheduled to sign on the dotted line to accept it, I had to turn it down.

There are a lot of reasons why I decided on that route, and, like I said, I won't go into all of the details just yet.  All of you who are shaking your fists at me and calling me an idiot, slow your roll.  A lot of big things have been in the making, and I'll get to it. The point right now is that, thus far, 2013 has been very hard on us (us being Matt and myself.)  Up until yesterday, we didn't have a lot to celebrate, just a series of disappointing news stacking up on top of each other.  But, yesterday, at 8am, Matt accepted responsibility of 300 AIT soldiers. (AIT = Advanced Individual Training.  This is where soldiers learn their MOS or their job in the Army.  Kind of a college crash course. Matt's company is full of computer guys.  Their jobs will basically be the IT guys of the Army.)

Every day for the past two months, Matt has had a daily quota of saying "I can't wait to take command."  A quota he has dutifully fulfilled, I might add.  He's spent his time after graduating the Captain's Career Course on staff of his future battalion, meeting colleagues, taking notes, and getting a feel for how things function on the ground. ("On the ground," by the way, is an Army general phrase for "in the area," or "in training." ie: Matt was getting a feel for how the unit functioned as a whole.)  In the long run, I kept reminding him, it would be to his advantage, but I know he was eager to put all of his training to the test and flex his CPT (Captain) muscles.

The eventful day dawned cloudy, slightly breezy, and dreary as hell.  It's been raining in Augusta since Sunday, and they decided bright and early in the week to move the ceremony indoors.  To my grave displeasure.  With funds running freakishly meager, I decided not to waste gas money on renting a lens for the occasion and just hope with every fiber of my being that the weather would heed my call.  To no avail.  So I packed up all my less-than-worthy zoom lenses and hoped for the best.  The pictures did not turn out to my standards, and I'm not pleased with them, but I remind you (and myself) that I was seated as part of the family of the new commander, and didn't precisely have the freedoms to wander around snapping my shutter like the three PAOs I enviously observed circling INSIDE the formation (ugh!).  Captions explain what's going on in the shots.

The company Matt took over dubs themselves "C-Rock."  C standing for Charlie Company, and The Rock (like from Fantastic Four) being their mascot.  The Spartan helmet represents the Battalion - 447th - "The Spartans."

Captain Daley, who received the guidon (the flag) from 1SG Johnson (the commander of troops; ie: the company commander's right hand man, he executes the orders), hands the guidon on to his battalion commander, LTC Ruder.  During Change of Command ceremonies, the handing of the guidon signifies the flow of responsibility.  Commander of Troops to Outgoing Commander to Battalion Commander to Incoming Commander back to Commander of Troops, it goes up the chain of command, and back down again.

I'm still surprised he managed not to grin when LTC Ruder handed him the guidon.

After the handing of the guidon, the speeches begin, starting with the battalion commander.  LTC Ruder talked about how Matt was "chomping at the bit," to take command, and even mentioned how I "confirmed his suspicions" that Matt was ready to get out of Staff Duty and into the boss-man role.  (Oops.)

CPT Daley (Jeff), the Outgoing Commander, had trouble getting through his speech as he thanked all of the people who helped him through it, including his wife and children for being so understanding in how they had to "share daddy with others."

CPT Daley left Matt a present on top of his speech - a diaper, to tease him about his youth, just as Matt had teased Jeff about his age.  Matt is the youngest Company Commander in the Battalion, possibly even the Brigade, as most before him were "prior enlisted," meaning they had been soldiers before becoming officers.

Matt's speech was short and sweet, at less than a minute.  He set a precedence for himself that he tends to keep.  "I hate when a brief isn't brief," he told me later that night.  He kept to his word this morning during his first safety brief of his NCOs (Non-Commissioned Officers, the soldiers who execute his orders and oversee the AIT soldiers), and intends to continue doing so through tonight's safety brief of the trainees.

Matt salutes his commander, LTC Ruder, as Ruder leaves the formation, and thus leaves him in charge.

Matt and his "Battle" (a term Army uses to officially refer to a colleague.  In casual terms, it tends to refer to a strong friendship with someone who has been through battle with you), Beka, who took command of a company last November, and has been Matt's best friend since they graduated from West Point in 2008.

Matt and his mom, who drove eight hours down from Fort Campbell in Tennessee to be here.

Matt and his parents.  Mr. Sinda is a technology teacher at a high school in Michigan.

Matt's family, who rarely get an opportunity to all be together.

Matt's sister, Taylor (on left) and his brother, Shane (on right).

Matt and Beka with their Brigade Commander, COL Elle, a friendly and efficient boss.

Matt's XO (Executive Officer, generally held by a 1LT at the company level), comparing his photos with who I assume to be the Brigade PAO (Public Affairs Officer - ie the photographer who not only covers Matt's company, but all the companies and events two levels up from his command).

Matt (I'm going to try to fix his eyes so they're open), his brigade commander, his battalion commander, and his battle.

It's tradition to give roses to the closest female of both commanders at the beginning of the ceremony.  Red for the outgoing commander's lady to signify the loyalty and devotion of the command to the lady, as well as the sacrifices she had to make to support the commander, and yellow for the incoming to signify a warm welcome and friendship the command extends to the commander's lady.  Matt shook up tradition by asking for two bouquets of yellow roses, one for his mom, and one for me.

As soon as Matt found out he had gotten the position, people started asking me how I felt about never seeing him again for the next two years.  Knowing how much Matt loves his job, and how protectively hard he will work to make sure his soldiers are ok, I decided to ensure Matt remembers not to work too hard, so I got the picture below framed, and the graphic below printed on a mousepad for his office, to remind him there are things waiting for him at home.  I doubt I needed to do it though.  This morning, Matt told me he made two reservations tonight for our Valentine's dinner - one for if he manages to get off of work on time, and one for if he has to stay late.  So I think we're prepared to make things work.  I'm ridiculously proud of his accomplishments (though I can't claim I had any part on helping him reach his goals - yet), and I'm ecstatic that he's doing a job that he loves.  I know he'll feel the same when my chance comes.

Matt and me before one of my best friend's weddings last November.

 

A graphic I made for Matt when he and I had first started dating to show off my photoshop skills.  (I drew all of it using various effects and techniques.) Irene is the name of his car and is his most prized possession.

For the ceremony, Matt's family all traveled many many many miles down.  They also have had a rough year, so the opportunity for all of them to be together for a couple days was a rare treat, and Matt was stoked he got to have them here.  (He tries to deny it, but the boy is a family man through and through.)  Fourteen plus truck-fire-traffic hours from Michigan (where his dad teaches, and his sister is prepping for PA school in May), and eight hours from Tennessee (where his mom is helping his 1LT brother through a rough health problem), both parties arrived safely Tuesday evening.  This was my first time meeting them, so, considering my severe lack of experience being acquainted with "the parents," I was a mite nervous.  Me being me, I was worried - well, that being me and speaking my mind - would end up with an offense or something. As far as I'm aware, things went well and we all emerged from the week drama-free. They all headed back home this morning.


In other news, now that I have a little more time on my hands, I will try to make sure I post more consistently.  With my feet finally on the mend, I can start venturing forth for more photo adventures and find more excuses to re-attach my trusty Nikon to my palm. Babbling complete.

JanTwo-Three: Prevailing

Unfortunately, the last two days I have been D-R-A-G-G-I-N-G.  Trying to couple a social life with recovering from stress fractures and fighting off some kind of cold, my energy levels are low and my focus is scattered.  But I shall prevail!

I didn't do it on purpose but it seems the theme for this week is revolving around quality time with Matt.  As cliche as it may sound/look to the outside world, those who are close to me know how different this is for me. And I really don't care how many people might cringe at the past two days of shots (no, nothing cuddly or smoochy.  Relax.)  It was a week of celebrations for us, to continue today and tomorrow. So suck it up!

JanTwo: Motivations
Part One of my Christmas Gift to Matt grew out of a comment he made while we were cooking dinner one night - that he needed more pictures of us.  So I did some digging and got a couple dozen 4x6s printed, not just of us, but also of him and his best friend, Beka, and of "his girls" - Beka and myself.  I also bought a super cheap whiteboard, so, now, it's less of a Christmas thing, and more of a keeping us  motivated thing.  Not only will it remind both of us what is important, with a super collage of photos sporting the glowing grins of his family, cards from his cousin's kids, and the promotion photo of him and Beka with their brand-spankin' new Captain insignia intact, but keep us motivated with the new healthy-living meal plan.

1.2.12 - Re-organizing and modifying Matt's fridge was part of my Christmas gift to him.  It now includes a number of cute couple-y photos of us together, as well as pictures with his bestie, Beka, a photo of his cousins' kids, his family, and - of course - Irene, in addition to my Christmas card and a whiteboard for meal plans and notes.

Photog Elements: I love my swivel Liveview. I held the camera above my head with a bounce flash for this shot.  I wanted to have that big to small line on the fridge since that kind of communicates part of the resolutions this year - simplify.



JanThree: To Another Happy and Healthy Six Months
I love food.  It's one of my affairs that I pay a lot of attention to. Last night, I finally used one of my Healthy Recipe Pins from Pinterest to cook up a six-month celebratory dinner for Matt.  I documented most of the evening, which, altogether, was a pretty simple meal.  If you're looking and thinking "Yum..." you're right.  I'll link both my Pinterest Boards and the Recipe below.

1.3.12 - I haven't completely bought into the Paleo Diet that is going around, but I am pretty close to buying into a Whole Foods based approach to food.  Considering eating Paleo is 100% whole, unprocessed foods, I've adopted some of those concepts in my cooking.  So this meal - Balsamic Chicken Bake, is all protein and veggies, with some extra flavors.

Cooking Tip: No matter what you're doing with your meat, searing the outsides, or browning on mid-high heat, helps contain the juices of the meat.  Since I baked the chicken in a ton of veggies and liquids, I browned the outsides with salt and pepper before tossing it in the oven.  I also made a mess doing it. Smiley Face.

In addition to eating healthy, I'm saving money.  Which means wasting money of fresh ingredients that will eventually rot in the crisper is a no-no. Dried Basil and Garlic Powder it is!

So simple - everything in one casserole dish, pour spiced balsamic vinegar mixture over top.

Pop in the oven at 375ish degrees for 35 mins, sprinkle with mozz cheese (not a whole food), and back in for another five. You wouldn't believe how delicious it smells.

1.3.12 - I served it up with a couple cups of green beans (frozen, cooked in microwave with garlic salt) and a side salad (I also drank some Detox Water with it as well).  Easy, healthy, light, and wonderfully delicious.

 Photog Elements:  I played with flash vs ISO a lot today - reminding myself that this challenge is a learning experience.  My conclusion is that I want to play with some other flash diffusion concepts.  So Note To Self: Diffusion. Look into it.


Check it:
Pinterest - Healthy Recipes  - Balsamic Chicken Bake (I added mozzerella Cheese and used yellow onions instead of red, since Kroger's red was looking pretty peck-ish.)

Detox Water: (I started drinking this a couple weeks ago.  I've noticed I don't retain water/weight as much when I drink it, and I feel clean... it sounds odd to FEEL clean, but I do. ) Slice 1 lemon, 2 limes, half a cucumber thinly and put in a gallon pitcher with a couple mint sprigs.  Top with ice, fill with water, and let it seep in the fridge overnight.  Or, an easier approach - Two thin slices of lemon, lime, and cucumber, lose the mint (cuz it wilts).  Put it in bottom of tall water glass, and keep re-filling water glass with ice and water throughout the day.  The juices stimulate digestion processes and kidney function.  (You're gonna pee a lot.)
  

JanOne: 365 Days of Improvement

Like I said in the last post, the past 18 months have been rough on me.  I've faced a handful of challenges - some the normal coming-of-age character-building obstacles, along with a few more unique happenings that I'd gander most 22-23 year-olds wouldn't imagine facing.  None are a sob story worth boring you, but they all contributed to a better, stronger me, who has finally taken control of my own path, and adopting the honored attitude behind poem "Invictus" by William Henley (see below). As cliche as it has become since the 2009 biographical sports film, I still find the words encouraging and empowering to a generation who is truly having to fight for their own futures.

Every year, I make a list of aspects in which I have grown in the past 12 months, and, considering the emotional gutter I was stuck in 365 days ago, that list is extremely long for the year of 2012.  A large percentage of the list came all the more clear to me on New Year's Eve, which I spent with two people who I didn't know existed a year ago.  After an evening talking about my past, we toasted a long and happy future together, and a year of improvements for me, rooted in the changes I made for myself in the past six months.

Now, along with establishing a strong foundation of supportive, positive friends, I'm starting a new challenge, focused on improvements and growth in a part of my life, and career, that makes me infinitely happy - photography.  Three-hundred and sixty-five days (so is the plan now, but may fall victim to it's own sabbatical pending a series of career-making decisions in the next couple of weeks) of taking pictures, challenging myself and pushing myself to find perspective and beauty.

NOTE: Despite the lack of sarcastic quips in today's post, I'm not giving up who I am as far as my sense of humor goes.  I've heard all the psychological babble about the negative effects of sarcasm.  I just don't care about it. Smiley Face.

12.30.12 - So the concept is to stop focusing on the barbed wire...

12.30.12 - ...And take a step back, to focus on the bigger picture...

12.31.12 - ...And telling the whole story, silver-lining (or blue felt bag and red satin ribbon) included.

Day One (Aka "JanOne"): Happy Outback Bowl Day!

Matt, one of the two people I mentioned earlier who did not exist in my life a year ago, has become a huge part of my new positive attitude life.  Being from Michigan, he's been a Big Ten/ Wolverine fan since birth.  Though I can't claim my athletic loyalties are lifelong, I am a Gamecock alum, so yesterday's Outback Bowl was a "relationship divided," as Michigan and South Carolina battled through a highly competitive and closely matched four hours.

Obviously, our health kick resolutions didn't start until this morning (New Year's is a holiday, so it doesn't count.)  But, our friendly competition didn't go past a victorious cheer at each play, and, as you can see for yourself from my "perspective shot," we still cuddled on the couch while we watched.

1.1.13 - Michigan Wolverines and South Carolina Gamecocks battled touchdown for touchdown on Tuesday in the 2013 Outback Bowl.  Though the Gamecocks ultimately took home a victory, both teams were well-matched in the four-hour game that closed both teams' seasons.

ELEMENTS:
- Perspective: I debated for a while what kind of shot I wanted to communicate the shot.  After a brainstorm that lasted the full first hour of the game, I settled on a first-person perspective shot over a tripod third-person perspective.  I'll admit part of that was that I was still in my PJs (we didn't get home until after 3am), but the point of a perspective shot is to show you how I saw the day, and put you in my shoes.  Or cotton polka-dot pants. Whichever.
- Composition/ Supporting Elements:  Sometimes in a photo, less is more, but, In this case, I wanted to show the focus of our day - being lazy and watching football.  So, along with my decision to show our day from my perspective, I also waited for elements contributing to the whole story, including the empty pizza box, and Matt watching as the ref indicates that the Gamecocks secured another score.
- Life in a Kodak Moment: I hate posed shots.  I might snap a few when people have figured out I have my Nikon focused on them, but I rarely post the shots, because I rarely feel they're the best one.  Sincere smiles look extremely different from a posed, forced cheesin' grin.  The Kodak moment shot of Life is a growing movement in photography, with a lot of professionals reminding photojournalists that real life happens in moments of cluttered living rooms, not posed Christmas sweater sets.
- Bounce Flash: My only lens that goes down low enough for a perspective shot is a zoom lens, so the AP on that puppy leaves something to be desired.  It's not fast.  At all.  So I clicked on my off-body flash, and pointed it toward the ceiling.  Bounce Flashes diminish the harsh deer-caught-in-headlights look that a direct flash tends to cause.  As a natural indoor diffuser, it also softens shadows and provides an additional light source so you don't have to use a tripod.



"Invictus" by William Ernest Henley
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Inspired - Again - to Make Changes

As some portion of my readers know, I took a little break from blogging for a few days.  Partially because I got pretty busy with the holiday rush of errands, family, parties, cooking, gift-wrapping, and eggnog-sipping.  But the primary reason I took a wee sojourn was because of the essay series I was pursuing - a research analyzing of how entitled American society has become.

It was inspired by a number of things, ranging from a few family events to the consistent garbage on my Facebook feed that spiraled the focus of a horrible tragedy taking 27 lives out of control. Instead of citizens investing their time, energy, and voices in the whole, the community, our nation, and it's safety, people were making it about them personally.  This angers me, and in the spirit of the holidays, I couldn't bear to be so weighted down by such negative energy, particularly after it was brought to my attention that so many citizens have even made the holiday time into a negative experience by being prejudiced about their well wishes.

Before I get on my soap box again I should stop myself.

I've spent this morning catching up on blogs and social media that I took a break from for the past week, and, admittedly, avoiding the next chapter in the essay series.  I scrolled into posts my favorite photography blogger, Scott Bourne with Photofocus.com, wrote last August.  If you're an artist, or even someone who is just aspiring to big, competitively heavy dreams, you should read it.  Because it has helped me refocus my energies, and cancel this essay series.

In the last two years, I've had to put a lot at stake for my career.  I've made decisions to end employment that provided a consistent income because it was challenging my dreams, my sanity, and sucking my life dry of quality time with my Nikon, walk away from long-term friendships because it was tossing heavy burdens toward my self-worth, I've even broken up with a guy for calling my career "an entertaining hobby."  And, I'm ashamed to say after all those efforts, I let a series of negative events pull me away from my determined optimism.

Again, following this post, I'm going to take a short sabbatical (wow, who knew it was spelled that way?), step off of my soap box, away from my own hypocrisy (another tricky word), and remind myself what I'm doing here.  In a tough economy, pursuing a tough profession, I have got to stay positive, continue my journey to becoming a better, more productive friend, girlfriend, daughter, sister, cousin, niece, citizen, photographer, and human being altogether.

The first of the year marks the first of a lot of big life-changing events for me, and I'm going to spend the next seven days preparing for them.  I'll let you know as they come to fruition - or don't, but I can tell you that I'm still as stubbornly persistent as ever in following my heart, working hard to get to where I want to go, and doing what I can to be a loving, caring person along the way.  No person or event is going to keep me from that.

This is, after all, My Shot.




Sources:
Photofocus post from 8.26.12 by Scott Bourne - How to Improve Your Photography Literally Overnight - Really

An Entitled America: The News Bug

First Read: An Entitled America: Introduction

*PRELIMINARY NOTE: This is called an "editorial."  Or, you could call it an "essay."  Although written by a journalist, my opinions are included in this blog post.  All sources are noted below, so you can check my facts if you'd like.  I just thought I'd say this in advance for those who disagree with me and try to take a stab at my theories. PERSONAL NOTE: If you would like to counter my theories, I'm open to hear them, as long as they are in a mature, conversational context.*

As I turn off the four-hour "news" cast The Today Show, and snuggle into this futon with curves like a Victoria Secret supermodel (concave abdomen, for those of you staring at your screen with a perplexed expression), listening to the techno-pop tunes of Pandora the construction workers off of Matt's patio are rockin' out to, I conduct a few dozen internet searches, trying to drown out "G6" on repeat and focus on the blogs, editorials, and historical timelines. When news breaks, particularly a tragedy, we all tune in to our favorite news entity, start following and liking a particular information page,  and stay glued to our mobile devices for updates on what the hell is happening elsewhere in the world, or more often, in our own beloved Land of the Brave.  Even when news isn't breaking, a significant portion of our society can't seem to part from our giant 800-inch flat screens, drinking in videos on a skateboarding bulldog which has become national news, tweeting "What a cute doggie!" along with the flavor of soda we had with lunch, and spending hours re-watching the video while passing time in the waiting room on our above averagely intelligent phones. With this constant connection to the 24-hour news casts, social media websites, and absorption in today's incredibly advanced technology, is it possible that our world has gotten hooked on a self-serving, patience-zapping obsession?


The All Day Every Day News Bug
The first American communication was based on word-of-mouth, couriers racing away across farmland on horseback with a letter or a memorized soliloquy, bringing the first news of a Boston Tea Party to a far away township.  With the courier's words, the 38 colony newspapers printed the stories in their weekly issue, generally a total of four pages, with a print quota of 600 copies.  Settlers on the outskirts of town or in the deep south plantations waited for visitors to bring the newspapers into town, sometimes weeks after the publication hit doorsteps, or more often street corners.  Due to the avenue of travel, however, facts tended to get obscured, so the stories were incomplete, and, frequently, not entirely on point.

"Newspapers, the only mass media of the day, may have moved more slowly than in our Twitter-happy age, but the reporting of events in the Revolutionary War was just as befuddled, partial, and contradictory as the early reports on Hurricane Sandy or Benghazi that ricocheted around the Internet in 2012...—in sum, a version of these famous events entirely unlike the neat stories we’re taught in class." (Andrlik and Bell, The Boston Globe)

Though political parties were discouraged in the British Empires, "biased" newspapers had more power in Colonial Times than the current information age.  The phrase "the media doesn't tell you what to think, they tell you what to think about," was so strong it was almost comical, since newspapers often printed one side of the story, leaving the other side out entirely, arming colonies with only one side from which to form an opinion. Since most colonies had only one paper, the only source of mass media at the time, they didn't have much choice but to be the uninformed masses.

Since then, through waves of inventions, news grew from the measly one newspaper town into a nation-wide network of competing bipartisan publications.  Broadcast news was born, flushing the world in awe as "the most trusted man in America" Walter Kronkite took over evening television, allowing families the opportunity to catch up on the world for thirty minutes without having to wait for the morning newspaper.  As technology tends to do, further developments answered the question of "What next?" with Ted Turner's Cable News Network, now more commonly known as CNN, gracing the air in 1980 with the world's first 24-hour news channel.  (Sundem, How Stuff Works)

Other stations soon followed suit with MSNBC, Fox News, HLN, and more.  Each channel was established with an "individual edge," but suddenly it became apparent that there was not enough news to fill a full day, in competition with other corporations no less.  What began to define the leader in network news was who broke the news, and with what kind of "spin."  Critics have since accused a number of various networks with "political preference" and reporting only portions of stories that favored a particular position.


Symptoms: Impatience, Confirmation Bias, and Self-Righteous Denial
The angle of "I want news now," has an obvious conclusion, and, to be honest, a weak support, since it's mostly based in my own meanderings, and none in scientific study or professional opinion (there, see? I told you I'd be honest).  A society borne from the immediate reward system, feeling as though we deserve the truth, the whole truth, nothin' but the truth just minutes after an occurrence breaks the waves of media attention, is in complete disregard for the humanity of journalism.  Competitive deadlines push media representatives to break the story ASAP - with or without a confirmation of "facts."  And with journalists on the chopping block, falling victim to budget cuts just as much as the next American, I doubt any journalist with a mouth to feed is in much of a position to do anything less than tweet half stories to a hungry and impatient audience.

"The news doesn't tell you what to think, it tells you what to think about."
A topic that frequented the "dinner table debate" of journalism classes in college was the phrase I referenced earlier.  Students were questioned how true (or false) the statement is.  As a media professional living in a cynical world, we are often thrown into the lion's den, caught in a friend or family member's scoff of some media conglomerate only reporting on this type of news or that type of news, and they only ask this guy his opinion or distribute those facts.  "They don't care about the news, they just care about ratings." Well who gives the ratings?  I'll give you a hint, it's not the CEO of Fox News.

A statistically representative sample of 25,000 American citizens provide these ratings, according to the Nielsen Company, which is responsible for the ratings most national networks reference.  So, its actually you (or someone like you anyway) who are giving those ratings.  So, its you that is encouraging news networks to report the way they do.  So, you must enjoy that particular "spin."

Whether or not the mass of available media is the chicken or the egg, psychology calls the population's network preference "confirmation bias."

"Confirmation bias is a phenomenon wherein decision makers have been shown to actively seek out and assign more weight to evidence that confirms their hypothesis, and ignore or underweigh evidence that could disconfirm their hypothesis." (Science Daily)

Self-righteous denial: Entitlement
We live in a world where, if we don't like that one news network is publishing horrible rumors about our favorite politician, we can flip channels and find that it's not so horrible after all.  The competition of news conglomerates has created a fluffy, cotton candy filled world where no one ever has to be wrong.  Our opinions do not have to be challenged, we do not have to stand down or listen to the thoughts of others. We can stick our heads in the sand and deny that any view of ours was ever wrong.  We are ENTITLED to our own opinion, yes, but are we ENTITLED to continue living in denial that this opinion is uninformed, ignorant, and ultimately, biased by a self-chosen spin?  Are we breeding a society in which, when politics is mentioned, people become so angered (and I have been victim to this myself) simply because someone has presented an opposing argument?  Could it be that this is the foundation for a complete lack of compromise in our country - a severe lack of the "real world" concept that people who think differently from you may be, in fact, intelligent?


I'm not going to hash out the conclusion to who started the snowball fight first: the companies of 24-hour bipartisan news, or an audience that is never satisfied, because I don't think there is one.  And I do not blame the news for a society that has become violently consumed by confirmation bias. But I do think, particularly with the fiscal cliff and gun control topics of today, an enormous percentage of citizens have allowed themselves to become uninformed supporters of a one-sided cause.  We, as a nation, though perhaps always somewhat divided by politics, should fight for a more common ground, and less of a self-righteous split. 



Sources and Suggested Readings:
Breaking News of the Revolutionary War, Todd Andrlik and J. L. Bell. The Boston Globe. December 16, 2012.

How the Neilson TV Ratings Work..., Charlie Jane Anders.  Io9 Backgrounder. September 17, 2010.

"Confirmation Bias." The Science Daily.  

How have 24-hour news stations affected society?, Garth Sundem. How Stuff Works. Read: December 19, 2012.

24-hour News Coverage: A Waste of Everybody's Time, Becky Hayes. The Huffington Post. December 18, 2012.

The Story Behind the Story, Mark Bowden.  The Atlantic Magazine.  October 2009.

Entitled America: Introduction

During my run this afternoon, amidst bobbing to the beat of a strange selection ranging from 80's hip hop to "stick a boot in your ass" country patriotism, I thought about the massive stretch of blog topic brainstorms inspired by a weekend with family and last Friday's heart-breaking tragedy.  Then, after an epiphany probed by a friend's status update, I cursed my lazy cardio-free weekend, and started writing.

With the wake of New Town's losses still weighing fresh in our hearts and minds, everyone seems to be hot on the topic of "gun control."  Toss with the concerns over the fiscal cliff's "budget control," Arizona's "birth control," New Mexico's "border control," and Westboro's "hate control," every Jim, John, and Jonas brother seem to have hands heavy a dozen long-stemmed opinions on how to "control the world."  It's a revolving door that no one seems to know how to evacuate.  The world is a tough thing to control, and society has been growing more and more centered on the "I" of "United."  And yet, the "self," it seems, has lost control.

Education systems are leaving everyone behind, diets neither require exercise nor sacrifice, bosses give out raises to the best fruit basket over the best work ethic, government officials snub their noses and screech functions to a sickening halt in favor of putting down their lollipops and compromise, even the military's standards have been forced to loosen their belts.  Everyone believes they deserve everything without any effort.  I'm sure there are parties out and about that would argue that all of these systems are "working," and I'm sure in some sense, they would be correct.  It's working so efficiently we can barely see past our own noses enough to inquire: "Are we creating a country of the entitled?"

I don't have an answer to that question, but I have a lot of theories.  And I'm going to spend a few days looking into those theories, doing some research, and finding some answers. Here begins a series on Entitled America. 

Tomorrow, I'll start a three-day series of essays, each day focusing on another entity that may have contributed to the entitled.  But I will do something that Facebook, Twitter, biased news conglomerates, and political extremists won't. Wrong or right, in support or against, I'm a journalist with integrity, dammit. And I'll tell you the truth, the informed truth, so help me God.   United I stand.