Realing it all in: The things I learned post- college

THINGS I LEARNED IN  ( post ) COLLEGE -

1. College is a surreal parallel of the “real world.”  You will work with idiots and jerks, you will be directed by the self-righteous and power-hungry. You will have times when you want to quit, and times you lose faith in humanity as a whole. Stay focused on why you’re there. Tough it out.
2.  All things in moderation. Especially Patron and anything 100 proof or more.
3. Value menus and quarters - never underestimate the power of a dollar.
4. You will crave Chik-fil-a with the upmost ferocity. On Sundays.
5. People change. Conditions change. You must evolve to accept and grow with these changes.
6. Just because you don’t understand it, doesn’t mean it’s wrong.
7. There are two sides to every story. Make every effort to understand both.
8. Some people will never escape themselves.  Don’t hate them. Be sad for them that they will never see 
9. how vastly beautiful the world outside their own head/ass is.
10. Your weakest moments are the ones in which you find your true friends. As well as your own strength.
11. No one will ever think the same way that you do in every aspect.  Count it as a blessing. Be grateful that you are the only you in the world, and have the same courtesy for everyone else.
12. Tragedy teaches you how to value what you have and who you are. It will change you, whether you want it to or not.
13. Never expect someone to fail. You’d be surprised the effect one person’s belief can have on them.
14. Parents are people, too. They have thoughts, hopes, feelings, goals, that are completely independent of you. Embrace it.
15. People are a direct result of their upbringing.  That being said, your upbringing never ceases.  At some point, you must be held accountable for your own actions.
16. The cliche is true - Love will find you when you least expect it. You can’t plan it, you can’t control it, and there is no deciding factor of how it will affect you.
17. Telling someone how you feel is rarely wrong.  Judging someone for how they feel often is.
18. Nothing is really definite, black and white, or concrete.
19. All play and no work is a purposeless life.  All work and no play is a dispassionate one… A great fix to that is to combine them ;)
20. Do not apologize for passion.  See it and feel it as much as possible; be wise in how you direct it.
21. Take pride in your mistakes. Not in making them, but in learning from them.
22. No matter which way you spin it or how many times you apologize, what you say in anger has a lasting effect.
23. Say what you mean, and mean what you say.
24. Value the opinions of your loved ones, take them into consideration, but don’t let them discount what you want for yourself.
25. No matter how well you think you know yourself or someone else, you will be surprised.
26. You learn more about knowing nothing as you grow older than you do about knowing anything at all.  You know?
27. Hating someone takes so much more energy than ignoring them does.
28. Pick your battles. Bickering is frustrating and pointless.
29. Don’t try to have an opinion on everything. It’s impossible to be so informed, and an uneducated opinion is a dangerous one.
30. If you don’t trust them, be it friend, family, or romantic partner, you shouldn’t be with them.
31. Life is to be celebrated. Find the good things. Hold on to them, and never let go of the happy moments.
32. People are imperfect.
33. Admitting wrong-doing is a sign of maturity. It’s also safer than a fist-fight.
34. Ask yourself if it really matters.
35. There is a difference between complaining, and venting. If it’s the former, have the balls to do something about it. If it’s the latter, let it out, and then let it go.
36. One step at a time.
37. Learning has little to do with organized education.
38. Real love is unconditional. It may change form, but it never disappears.
39. It takes more than love to make any relationship work. Every relationship, friend, family, or romance, takes a lot of hard work and respect.
40. Say thank-you. Say it often, and in as many ways as possible.
41. Things are only as complicated as you make them.
42. Accept all compliments with a smile.
43. Take an interest in what your loved ones care about.
44. Always be open to new opportunities.
45. If you’re going to change yourself, don’t do it for anyone who asked you to, do it for you. You’re worth it.
46. There is a time for all things. Except robots. Laugh, cry, don’t forget to feel.
47. You can only do as much as you can do, and that’s all you can do.
48. If it’s worth having, it’s worth fighting for.
49. Do something big that scares you on your own. It’s the only way to really figure out what it is that you’re capable of, and it just might point you in the direction of finding who you want to be.
50. Don’t ever put yourself in a position where you would let anyone make you feel unwanted.
51. If you’re looking back on the past four years, no matter what age or walk of life you currently lead, and you haven’t changed, or learned anything new, you need to take a step back and re-evaluate what the hell it is that you’re doing.

Motivated, motivated: I get a little bit stronger

*Opening scene: slow, sad country song, crooning about some lost lonely feeling, sweeping view of camera equipment, notebooks full of sketches, wires, hard drives, CDs, white boards littered with checklists (crap, I forgot to buy toothpaste again), and finally settles to a girl, early 20's, propped against pillows on a make-shift full size bed, the hazy blue glow of the light from her laptop settling on her concentrated face. Tune picks up pace to a bouncy ballad of "screw you" affections*

Motivation hasn't quite been my forte for the last couple of weeks. After moving in with my marine roommates, I lazed, I lulled, I stared at my computer screen for literally HOURS, my mind floating from a made-up conversation I'm having with a client who JUST. WON'T. LEAVE. To improvements I could make to the condo, and wondering how long I'm going to pretend I actually have a sense of interior design - or as the guys call it - "a woman's touch." I hike up my soccer shorts, adjust my PAO dry fit, and try to ignore the construction humming along on the street directly below my window (which has the bad habit of leaving a layer of Carolina Clay on my Toyota). I had a million, literally A MILLION ideas buzzing around in my head, the slideshow scaping across my mental corneas varying everywhere from fantasy photoshoots to poster designs to a really advanced flash movie featuring flying letters and synchronized animations to linkin park and eminem meshed ballads.  And I played. But I never really did have the concentration to focus my energies on sitting down and cranking out the tough big girl stuff.

I blamed it on my ADD. (La la la la la) Reality is that it probably had a lot to do with it. But as it turns out, not having anything at all figured out, having literally NOTHING that is for sure, concrete, set in stone, not half a clue where I'll be in six months, what I'll be doing, or who will be major players in my life... it's kind of intimidating.  And, as it turns out, it becomes increasingly more difficult to crank out anything productive when your brain wanders to eighteen other things at one time every occasion that you open the file entitled "big girl job." (*jots down a note to change the title of that document before exporting to employers*)

Lucky for me, I had a shitastic labor day weekend. And, strangely enough, this whirlwind that robbed me of the one thing I felt I had going for me in the positive direction as far as "growing up" goes, kinda slapped me on the forehead. With a nine iron. And then punched me in the gut. And threw mud in my face and pushed me into a sinkhole. And made me climb my way back out of it again.  With the supportive words from good friends, a long talk with my mommy (yea I know, big girl), and a day on the beach with my sister, I realized that the only person responsible for my happiness is me. And the Adderall isn't going to change that. 

So, in the last two days of a headachey, Adderall-boosted motivated me, I've booked a total of 15 hours of design into the new portfolio.  And with just a couple final tweaks, it will be ready for send-off.  I have a goal scribbled across my white board (it's actually lime green): APPLY TO 5 JOBS by MONDAY!!!!  It's underlined, and circled, and outlined in pretty colors (Adderall can only do so much), and I even have an angry-faced doodle on it that reminds me of an asian baby sucking on a lemon. I've named him Fido. Buddha seemed a little racist....

Cranking up the country stations on Pandora, I'm letting the soft croons remind me of the PAO girl at Fort Knox, who had the world at her feet. Hello, world. I just came to say hi. Oh, and suck it.


...If that's ok with you.

The Last of the Living - STOs on the Obstacle Course

I know it took forever for me to process these. Apologies.  At the end of the blog is a series of shots I took on the Bourbon Trail and in my dad's garden.

Severely Unemployed and still missing my summer

I'm home! Not a week passed before a ticket cashier at a movie theater in my hometown was responsible for striking a strange love of home into my chest with the simple saying - "Oh bless her heart!" Despite the cultural tendencies for Kentucky to linger on the precipice of "Southern Charm," I hadn't heard the phrase once in my stay there aside from explaining to some northern folk of the ways of the South.  It was odd to be driving home, weaving through the traffic I learned how to drive in six years ago.  Unpacking the car, I continued to marvel at how much useless crap I'd taken with me and couldn't stop feeling like I was just home for the weekend before returning to my company and my work at Fort Knox.

Cue the entrance of joining the majority of my fellow graduates - unemployed and "actively searching."  Along with packing and moving and packing and moving, I've embarked on paying the bills through free lance design jobs, only one of which have I secured of the paying variety.... and don't pay enough to cover everything.  I've managed to set up house with some good friends of mine whose policy on rent is "pay what you can when you can," and I find that my adventures to Knox and back have probably given me the best gift there is - knowing whose really got my back.

Now I'm not saying that all of my friends and family should have been glued to their computers, eyes glazing over in the white-blue light of the screen, drool dribbling out of the right corner of their hap-hazard gob as they flip through my daily gallery, but I honestly feel about 600x more motivated and focused when I know that people are investing effort to see where all of my effort is going.  Most careers, it's pretty straight-forward. You get up, work a shift, come home tired and grumpy, get paid, buy stuff, go to work... this isn't journalism. And I find now that my patience thins in explaining why I was out of touch this summer.  I shouldn't have to. You should know.

This little annoyance is how I've discovered that I am SO incredibly, amazingly blessed with such kick-ass awesome friends and family who were checking on a weekly basis to "see how Heather's doing."  And they didn't do this by calling (thank-you for that, cuz in all honesty, I was probably working), or complaining about not hearing from me, or sending me eighteen pages of "my life story for the last day and a half that we haven't spoken because you MUST know EVERY detail of EVERY day" (long title) that I did not have time to read, but rather, doing what I really wholly appreciate, checking my photo blogs.  Not this one, I was pathetically horrible at staying with this one, but rather the one with the LTC website. Yea, the one I posted to my facebook when I had a day that I really enjoyed.  The one that was my job.  Yea, that one.  Being home now, and hearing all of the comments from my own family and friends rather than people I've never met a day in my life - "I could really see how much you improved," "You did a great job, I loved those night frames!" "No wonder, those photos were with the cadets all day, and you could really tell" - I don't think I can even begin to explain how comforting it is to know that there are people in my life who understand what I'm trying to do here.

I miss Knox. I miss it terribly, and every day.  I had been feeling so much pressure the last few months of college - a strange concoction of expectations, adulthood, and impending doom.  It felt like a really bad massage. "This is supposedly making your life better but it's making you feel like shit."  That feeling.  And at Knox, it was like I'd sunk into a hot tub and the hours, the job, the people I worked with, the lifestyle, all of it just melted away all of that stress, the worries, the pressures, the incessant feeling that I was a new me fighting to shake off my old skin.  I felt like myself.  And now I'm addicted to that feeling, and I don't ever want to go back.

I don't know if South Carolina can be home anymore after a summer like that.  I'm a brand new me, a me I really like, a lot. And I don't want to go back.  Of course, I'll go (or stay) wherever the green takes me (ha, that could be money OR the army, did you see that? :P ), but I have to honestly say that I really hope it isn't here.  I will miss my friends and family, but I truly feel that it's time for Heather to leave the nest and fly a little more.

The last sunrise at Knox.

"Is Cadet Reid even there???"

"OK…is Cadet Reid even there??? I have not seen him since the arrival of Charlie Company. Please put a mom out of her misery and take a picture of him!!!!!"  No, you're right, I have nothing better to do with my time then hunt down your son and follow him the rest of the day so his clingy mother can continue to not deal with the fact that her son is trying to learn some independence and discipline and become a man.  I'll get right on that.

Parents continue to comment on galleries at least ten times a day.  I appreciate that they are enjoying my photos, but I kind of wish it would put a little more perspective into them what their kids are trying to do here.  And that is, become something of substance, contribute, be stronger, smarter, faster, more confident, more efficient, a leader.  On day four, when Cadets were maneuvering the team development course, a mom called the base with some bullshit "emergency" so she could talk to her son.  Really? Day four! Maybe this is crazy talk, but I think college is about time that mom should snap the umbilical cord. But then again, I've been told I tend to be overly opinionated and independent.

Anywho. Mucho thanks to the DSs who checked out the DS blog and continued to harass me about not having enough of them specifically :P  Hopefully this batch (the Cadet's victory dunks included) will help curb your appetite for flattering photos.

The cadets worked in squads to race each other across the one rope bridge at Stream Crossing. Build rope bridge, move across, take down, done.

DS Williams made a wager with his platoon that Drills would cease fire on disciplinary action for a day if the cadets beat his cadre in the stream crossing race.  The cadets lost.

Just playing during the Stream Crossing safety brief. Hi, Sara!

During a CWST (Combat Water Survival Training) story last week, I spent two days in this corner trying to get this shot. When my Charlies went, I got the shot on shutter click #2. :)

The DS and LTs practiced several times to ensure a victory vs the cadets in the stream crossing race.

Cadets lined up in the basement of the barracks, containing the weaponry for Charlie Co. to be issued their M-16 for their first round of BRM (Basic Rifle.... something...)

DS Kizanis apparently has some variety of civilian profession in the world of guns.

Cadets building a one rope bridge at stream crossing.

Hooking up to the bridge to cross it.

 Morning PT at Fit Factory

Fit Factory

Squad Tactics - Individual Movement Training, where they learned low crawls, high crawls, and rushes through a muddy obstacle course.

got a little bored at squad tactics

The grossest looking MRE I could find - cornbread stuffing. I settled for pasta.

The zipline at Where Eagles Dare, the high ropes course.

The climbing tower.

The second to last obstacle on the ropes course, quite literally a "lean of faith." You can't hold on to the "lobster claws" connecting your harness to the course guide cables. It's a test of trusting the strength of your own courage and your fellow soldiers looking out for you.

The DSs and some COs spent their day motivating Cadets from below... and taking pictures of the scared ones with their cell phones.  I'm afraid I don't think any of them got a picture of me up there :(

BUT! That's me on the last obstacle - the zip line. You have to do the whole course to get there, and once you're up, there's only one way down.  Photo Courtesy of DS Epler - "I'm not a good photographer... did I get you?..."

The obstacle that gets the most hesitation - about 30 ft above ground (I'm guessing), a series of six or seven steps from one stop to the next - you are REQUIRED to keep your arms outstretched - no holding on to the ropes - and run across the steps to the other side.  If you walk or hesitate, you fall and do it again.

Zip-line

BRM-1. This picture makes me nervous about them shooting live rounds tomorrow.

So does this one.

Where Eagles Dare High Ropes. This obstacle, you have to step onto the cable, push out the rope, and slide across. The station after it had two ropes crossed, you slide halfway on one, then turn around on the cable and slide the rest of the way on the other.

Where Eagles Cadre trained for two weeks previous to the start of LTC. Each member goes through the entire course on "Hot" days - days of training to man each tower station and instruct cadets how to maneuver their way through. They spend all day up in the towers, often in 90-plus degrees.

First LT Daniel, Charlie Co. Chaplain, preparing to cross the step-bridge.

This is that cross-roped section I was talking about. This Cadet is trying to steady himself as he turns to face the opposite direction and slide the rest of the way down.

A lot of the Cadets pose and cheese into the camera more often than I would like, though it is always a laugh when they do.

Charlie videographer Tyler prepping to Zip

Tyler Zipping

DSs watching their flock

Colonel Fitzgerald awarding platoon streamers at the Terrain Walk Safety Brief

A Land Navigation Cadre briefing cadets before their Terrain Walk, to familiarize them with navigation skills.

DS Hogan helping with the open wall of the rappel tower.

An extremely enthusiastic rappel tower Cadre who promised to Aussie off the open side (front facing rappel with no wall) and bailed.

I think that's DS Wonderlin but I'm not sure.

Desirae, Bravo videographer, and Sara, writer, rappelled with Charlie.

Desirae has done this before.

Sara has not.

The Charlie NCOs (non-commissioned officers) and Officers like to pull pranks on each other in the barracks.  Cpt Buck and NCOIC Conner discuss one of the pranks and an alleged video of the prank in the works.

The 51-ft rappel tower.  And yes, I did it.

Cadets worked in buddy pairs on the Land Nav course before their test, both in day light and at night.

I find this hilarious cuz the Land Nav cadre is pointing one way and the Cadet isn't quite in agreement.

Rough day at Land Nav.

LTs of Charlie wandering the course to pass time

REALLY a challenge to shoot, but still fun.  At night, the Cadets get red flashlights to prevent them from losing their night vision, but still offer a little visual assistance in reading their maps.

"Sounding off" (speaking loudly) the Co. Motto, killing time before they can start Night Land Nav.

At dusk on test day, the Cadets were released to locate two of three given points on the map.  The have two hours. The course is two miles wide at its widest point.

Green Chem-lites means the Cadet found a point - not necessarily his point, but if it isn't, its a chance to re-assess his location.  Blue Chem-lites signified water points, where Cadets can ask assistance from Land Nav Cadre, refill their canteens, and re-plot points.

Go Cocks! :)  -- Found it after several hours wandering the In-Processing station, which is littered with college parafenalia

Cadets sound off a "long count" while they clear a Zodiac boat at "Call of the Wild."  Cadets count off each member to be sure they're clear before capsizing the boat.

Cadets raced each other by squad first before the fastest squad from each platoon then raced the Co. Cadre.  Objectives were to carry the boat to the water, capsize it and return it and its passengers to the rights three times before paddling to shore.

DS Krulic getting some video for the Co. DS video at the end of the cycle.

Camera battle. I always win. :P

Another event at Call of the Wild is challenging Cadets to build flotation devices and race each other around the buoy and back to shore, with the flotation device remaining intact.

Charlie LT motivating his squad to get in gear.

Water Cadre (the COW Cadre are also in charge of the pool - CWST) Captain Morgans a pose while his squad paddles the Zodiac ashore following a practice run before the race.

Charlie Cadre position to capsize the Zodiac.

Charlie Cadre capsizing.

Charlie Cadre still capsizing.

It was a close call in the end of the race.

Cadre.

The wager was if the Cadre won, Cpt Parsons goes for a swim.

The Cadre won.

Cadets position for capsize.

Cadre race.

Cadets capsize.  Three cadets must stand, holding onto ropes, leaning low and backwards, with their heels hanging off the side of the boat, to capsize the Zodiac.  Another Cadet remains clinging to the underside of the boat.  Once the boat is capsized, he will remain on the up-turned side to help others get back in and put the Zodiac back to rights.

This race the Cadets won, so they won the wager of getting to see a few of their Cadre get tossed into the lake.

One wasn't enough for the Cadets, as they (coached by the DS) pushed for Colonel Fitzgerald to take a dip as well.

Drill Sergeants and LTs happily assisted the Lt Col into the lake.

Still starved for retribution of their victory (one of the squads broke an LTC record), they demand the DSs too, go into the water.

And so it starts.

Cadets might have enjoyed themselves a little too much, taking over to carry the DSs into the water themselves.  Its a rarity for Privates or Cadets to be allowed to come within three feet of a DS, much less to touch or carry one.

DS McWILLIAMS returning from his "swim"

Stream Crossing photo going on display to represent my Co. :)

After the DSs got dunked today, the Cadets quietly began a chant to dunk me as well.  Luckily, the DSs had taken back control and I was safe. :P.... this time....